


100 ways to say I love you

by Platinum_Platypus



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: M/M, These dorks, Ugh, Ughhhh, i just, my heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7291159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Platinum_Platypus/pseuds/Platinum_Platypus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title</p>
            </blockquote>





	100 ways to say I love you

1\. "Did you just kick that guy in the head?"

"He was touching you."  
<3

2\. "Tch, what are you? His husband?"

"You're damn right I am."

<3

3\. "Call the AMBULANCE DEAR GOD SOMEONE SAVE NERO!"

"Dante, all I did was stub my toe."

<3

4\. "Did you sit in sugar?"

"What?"

"Because you've got a sweet ass."  
<3

5\. "I'm going to kill you."

"You've already said that 87 times."

"I mean it this time."

"No you don't."

"No. I don't."

<3

6\. "Did you buy pizza?"

"Yep."

"You ate it all, didn't you?"

"I saved you the one with the most pepperoni."

<3

7\. "OHMYGOD. NEW HEADPHONES?! Thanks!"

"Anything to see you smile."

<3

8\. "Get off of me!"

"I just want to hug you!"

"You've been hugging me for 2 hours!"

"I want more!"

<3

9\. "Sweet Aphrodite."

"Stop saying your name."

"Dante, I swear to god."

<3

10\. "It's hot in here, maybe you should leave."

"You little dipshit."

<3

11\. "I bought you more pizza and beer."

"You're too good to me."

<3

12\. "I just realized that you're basically Mrs. Dante Sparda."

"Shut up."

<3

13\. "I guess I don't hate you."

<3

14\. "Don't die. Who else will I get to have sex with?"

<3

15\. "Dante, if you don't stop hugging me, I will rip out your damn throat."

<3 

16\. "Uh, funny story. Uh, I kinda tried to make you pizza by myself and I blew up the kitchen by accident."

<3

17\. "Did you make me a strawberry sundae?"

"You don't deserve it, but yes."

<3

18\. "I'm cold. Get over here, you're warm."

<3

19\. "You're tolerable."

"Omg you totally dig me."

<3

20\. "Marry me."

"I guess I have nothing better to do."

"Wow, Nero."

"I'm kidding."

<3 

21\. "If you don't stop almost getting killed, I'll break up with you."

"But that'll kill me too."

<3

22\. "I don't think I'd ever love again if you left me." 

"Stop with the poetry, old man."

<3

23\. "Are you CRYING?! WHO DO I NEED TO KILL?!"

"Dante, I'm cutting onions."

<3

24\. "If I had the choice to kiss the sexiest person instead of you, I'd still be kissing you."

"You suck at flirting."

<3

25\. "Are these roses for me?"

<3

26\. "Did you just body slam that woman into a table?"

"Only I'm allowed to have sex with you, Dante."

"No arguments. I'm totally 20000% cool with that."

<3

27\. "I wrote you a song."

"Oh boy."

<3

28\. "Did you actually clean the house for me?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe I do love you. I MEAN LIKE, DANTE STOP SMILING!"

<3

29\. "Can I kiss you?"

<3

30\. "It's hot, get off of me."

"I'm gettin my cuddles, dammit."

<3

31\. "It's warm."

"Because you're in the room."

"Dante, no."

<3

32\. "If you don't stop groping me, I will backhand you into a wall."

"I'll take my chances."

<3

33\. "You're cool. I guess."

<3

34\. "You're not totally lame. But you are still very, very lame."

<3

35\. "Nero hugs are the best hugs."

<3

36\. "I have a right mind to kiss you right now."

"Please don't."

<3

37\. "Did you just kiss me in my sleep? AWWW ARE YOU BLUSHING?"

<3

38\. "You're the lamest husband I have ever had."

"I'm the only husband you've ever had."

"Touché."

<3

39\. "I WILL KILL THAT SPAWN OF SPARDA AND YOU WILL NOT STOP ME!"

"I probably will, seeing as I'm married to the dipshit and I kinda like him."

<3

40\. "I love you.....r jacket! That red leather jacket is so cool, oh look, takeout's here. Gotta go, bye!"

<3

41\. "I think you digged me when we first met."

"I drop kicked you in the face."

"You loved it though."

<3

42\. "You're the best wife I've ever had."

"I'm a dude, Dante."

<3

43\. "I swear if you don't stop trying to clean the house and accidentally breaking something, I will end your life of a measly 33 years."

"You're like, 19, though. How is my life measly compared to your's?"

"Shut up and let me threaten you."

<3

44\. "Dante no."

"Nero yes."

<3

45\. "Wanna know what the thing I love the most is, kid?"

"What?"

"Look in the mirror."

<3

46\. "Ugh, why do I love-shit. I mean like, stop sMIRKING."

<3

47\. "Take my umbrella."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Then you'll be soaked, dumbass."

<3

48\. "You're the other half of my heart."

"That sounds like a horrible medical condition."

<3

49\. "Lady told me to kiss the one I love the most, so stop trying to kill me and let me kiss you, kid."

<3

50\. "I do."

"I do."

<3

51\. "If I had the choice to stab you in the throat, I probably would've done it by now."

<3

52\. "I'm thinking of divorcing you already."

"We've only been married for 6 minutes."

<3

53\. "TIME TO SERENADE YOU WITH MY SWEET DANCE MOVES."

<3

54\. "Did you lie about me dying if I don't kiss you just to get a free kiss?"

<3

55\. "You're sexy."

"I thought my name was Dante."

"This is what happens when I try to compliment you, ugh."

<3

56\. "You can have the last bite."

<3

57\. "Take my chair."

<3

58\. "If I was a woman, I'd totally be lesbian for you as a woman."

<3

59\. "Did you try to make me pancakes?"

"Yes and it backfired horribly."

<3

60\. "Breakfast in bed?! I love you."

<3

61\. "Stop kissing me, dammit."

<3

62\. "I am so gay for you."

<3

63\. "Smoochies!"

"Ugh, why me?"

<3

64\. "Can I keep you?"

 

"Well, we're married. So sure."

<3

65\. "I hate Kyrie."

"Why?"

"She tried to kiss you."

"That was a year ago."

<3

66\. "Yay an acknowledgment of one year closer to death."

"Whoa. Emo much?"

<3

67\. "Did you shove me under the mistletoe just to kiss me?"

<3

68\. "I swear to Sparda, you're such a sap."

"I know."

<3

69\. "Dumbass."

"Whore."

"Whoa, Dante."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

<3

70\. "TRISH, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF THE PIZZA I MADE FOR DANTE."

<3

71\. "I baked a pie."

"For who?"

"You, duh."

<3

72\. "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"My boyfriend."

"My boyfriend who?"

"Me, asshole. Forgetting about me already?"

<3

73\. "If that bitch looks at you one more time, I am going to annihilate her."

<3

74\. "Dante, stop beating up people because they flirted with me."

<3

75\. "I'll admit, I like having you around."

<3

76\. "Arrr, matey!"

"I regret mating with you."

<3

77\. "If I had a Dante and a bitch, like you, tried to kiss him, guess how many Dantes I'd have left? One and a dead body."

<3

78\. "Don't touch that, it's for Nero."

<3

79\. "Happy birthday."

<3

80\. "Kiss me."

"No."

"But I wuv you."

"Ugh, fine."

 

<3

81\. "You taste better than pizza."

<3

82\. "I like you more than my headphones."

<3

83\. "Who's the handsomest man in the world? You, you're the handsomest man in the world."

"Stop treating me like a dog because that demon gave me dog ears for a week, Nero."

<3 

84\. "I want an avocado."

"It just so happens, I packed you one."

<3

85\. "Ugh, people."

"I'm people."

"Ugh, you."

<3

86\. "Good morning, sleeping beauty."

"Fuck off."

<3

87\. "Ugh, fuck me in the ass!"

"Okay."

"Dante, stop."

<3

89\. "You're an idiot."

"But I'm you're idiot."

"True."

<3

90\. "You're hot, Nero."

<3

91\. "HOLY SHIT, MY WIFE IS AMAZING!"

"I'm nOT YOUR WIFE, DANTE."

<3

92\. "Wanna be my player 2?"

<3

93\. "I got us two straws to share the milkshake."

<3

94\. "Wanna have a bite of my sundae?"

<3

95\. "You're the best."

"I know."

<3

96\. "I'm such a fuck-up."

"Listen here, you beautiful child, you're the best thing in this world and if anyone says otherwise, I will end their pathetic little lives."

<3\. 

97\. "I guess we're like Pom-Bae."

"What?"

"Our love is explosive."

<3

98\. "Shut up."

"Shutting up."

<3

99\. "Just let me hold you bridal style!"

"I draw the line there!"

<3

100\. "I love you, Nero."

"I love you too, Dante."

**Author's Note:**

> Sweet Jesus 
> 
> It's so gay


End file.
